What is a BTS for Thai people? A convenient form of transportation or a giant metallic monster ready to munch you alive?

I hate taking the BTS during rush hours. OK the crowd is of course expected but the bigger the crowd, the more idiots there are.

I was on the BTS today going to Phrom Phong for work and it was like a complete series of A Guide to Bangkok Skytrain Etiquette from the moment I stepped on the station.

You know I really don't get the purpose of forming the line while waiting for the BTS to come. When the train approaches, people are just gonna swarm in anyway. I was at the front of the line but ended up getting on last.

Then there was a pole-hogger, a bag-grinder, a foot-stepper and a gawker.

And finally there was a miss its-not-my-stop-im-standing-still.

I just literally forced some biatch out of the car against her will today. I was reaching Phrom Phong and me and about five other people were waiting to get off and this bitch was standing right at the door in front of us.

I thought she was getting out as she didn't move. If that was me I would be turning myself around trying to avoid the herd when the station approaches.

The door was opening and people around me were struggling to get out and I was right behind her. Still she wouldn't move, and I couldn't move as both my sides were moving and I was stuck behind this scrawny ass hag.

She was a typical office employee. Long-haired, skinny with her tiny little purse that she clung on dearly. She just stood there looking so helpless. So, trying my best to be polite to an idiot, I gave her an "excuse me."

Didn't move. I tapped her, she turned and just stared around her feet, as if it would help with anything.

So I pushed her. She was surprisingly strong, and managed to hold her position for quite a while, until I turned my newly bought Topshop megabag against her and just rammed into her.

She just flew off the BTS, landing on the station while giving out a little "oi".

That was satisfying and totally made my day.