My mom and I were having dinner at Central Chidlom when her phone rang. She picked up, said hello, no answer, so she put down. Few seconds later the same number rang again, she picked up, said hello, no answer, so she put down. Then like literally half a second later, the same number called back, she was now pissed, she picked up the phone and put it to her ears. No response just a sound of a guy talking. She didn't hang up this time, she put the phone (still connected to that call) on the table and we finished our dinner.

We were paying and she looked at the phone and the guy still didn't realize he was still on the phone. My mom wished he was on a pre-paid program so it would drain his money.

I took the phone from my mom and put it against my ear. Then I started listening.

He sounded like a regular Thai guy you'd find in a cheesy RCA pub. High-pitched loud talking kind of douche bag, who uses lots of ku, mung, hia, ai ha, in almost every sentence that is uttered from his loud mouth. He was this kinda guy. What was worse is that, he was with a girl.

The girl, a typical girl who hangs out with this kinda guy. Talks like they're so cute in a multi-level tone with a giggle or two inserted between words. It wasn't surprising to hear how they interact to each other:

Girl: "Jing orrr.. ^%!#*$&^!#)*& 5555 ^%(^*%)*&%#)$.."
(จิง ง๋ออ.. ^%!#*$&^!#)*& 5555 ^%(^*%)*&%#)$..)

Guy: "Thur ni mang kode ab baew lei."
(เธอนี่แม่งโคตรแอ๊บแบ๊วเลย)

Basically the girl was talking nonsense in a Japanese manga character voice and the guy just went, "you're just so fucking ab baew."

You should know by now what ab baew means, living in Thailand. Wanna know what it is? YouTube yourself some Four-Mod.

Then the guy carried on his loud talking, the girl kept up her giggling, the guy started singing some Taxi tunes and the girl was just yapping.

By this time, we were long way away from Greyhound on 3rd floor and now into the supermarket. Mom was buying ice cream and I was searching for some Bubble Yum. I found this America's favorite bubble gum few weeks back at Villa, bought some, and got them stolen by my own Managing Editor and Sub-Editors who claimed that it brought back their childhood memories. I thought I would find them in Chidlom but was wrong so I got myself some Mentos instead.

The guy was still on the phone. I could hear some honking so we assumed he was driving.

We were trying to figure out who this guy was. Because one thing for sure, he couldn't have been a random guy, someone who accidentally dialed a wrong number. Because if he did, the first time he called he would have said something as he would be aware of the fact that he was calling someone. My mom's number must have been set on speed dial, or at least it's in a phone history of someone who had called my mom recently. The number wasn't saved in her phone so even if they had talked, he wouldn't have been important enough for my mom to save the number.

We were in our own car already, going home, when I heard another clear conversation between the two:

Girl: "Aiii.. hen mhod lei na!"
(อ๊ายยย.. เห็นหมดเลยน๊าา!)

Guy: "Ngun kor yah ab doo di wa!"
(งั้นก็อย่าดูดิวะ!)

Something naughty must have been going on for sure. It was silent for a while, except of the sound of things brushing against the phone. Then I heard another guy's voice:

Guy 2: "Dee dee la. Pai lae"
(ดีๆล่ะ ไปและ)

The guy was saying goodbye to our phone guy. Threesome?

Then a steady noise of things brushing against the phone started.

"Choop. Brush Brush. Choop. Brush Brush."

Is he jerking off?

Then I heard, "Ting. Tong." A sound of an elevator arriving at its destination.

So I guess his phone was in his pants pocket and the repeated rhythmic sound of brushing of caused by him simply walking. Nothing naughty there.

We were on the express way now. Damn when was he gonna realize? Nobody missed him at all? No one wanted to call? But then again, if someone was calling him he wouldn't have heard it.

Then it started getting really noisy on the other end. There could be about five-six people. Probably a house party. More girls now, but also more loud talking guys.

The rhythmic brushing started again. Where was he going? Where was he walking to?

Girl: "Ra wang doan kra-dard bard na."
(ระวังโดนกระดาษบาดนะ)

The ab baew girl warned him about getting a papercut. What is going on??

We were at the last red light before reaching home now.

Me: "This would be awesome if we make it home before he hangs up. But you know what would be better? If he is still on the phone when I blog about this."

Right now there was nothing on the other end now except the brushing sound and echoes of laughter.

Then, it stopped. It simply stopped. The call was disconnected. There was no "Oi ai hia! Gu mai dai wang torasub!". The line was just simply cut.

I think he either ran out of money or the battery. But either way, the call ended with this flashing on my mom's phone:

Last call: 43:10.

His worst 40-minute loss. Phone company's best 40-minute gain.

My 40 minutes spent, yet again, on an eavesdropping mission.

But it was fun.